The Official Mommy, Esquire's Christmas List

Because we feel we've been pretty darn good this year, we feel rather strongly that we should get some good stuff this year.  The Mommies, Esquire got together and talked about what we really want for Christmas and discovered that not everything can be easily gotten and stuck under the tree.  Nevertheless, here's our list we sent to the Big Guy in the Red Suit....



Kim's List~

1.  A nap.

Don't think I"m joking.  Don't think that I could just get a nap whenever I want.  I live in a house with three little boys and one really big boy.  They are loud and don't care if I get sleep.  Sleep is not important to them.  I think I'm the only one in my family (other than the 3 year old...and that is coming to an end, I fear) who requires more than 6 hours of sleep a night.  I ask for this for my birthday, Mother's Day, Easter, 4th of July....you name a holiday and I'm asking for a nap.  I don't mean a cat nap.  And I don't mean a nap after church because that usually entails my husband deciding to take a nap, too.  And that means that I have to share the bed with him...which I don't mind....but, a girl needs some recouperative sleep from time to time.  I mean the kind of nap where no one is at home.  I am free to lie down in my bed.  All. By. Myself.  And. Sleep.  Yes, that would be lovely.  ((sigh))

2.  A pair of "non-Mom" jeans.

I would love to find a pair of jeans that fit above the waist to hide muffin-top, but something that doesn't look like "Mom Jeans."  It is totally impossible to find.  Seriously.  After three c-sections, I would like to find jeans that don't ride down my butt....'cause Momma lost her backside years ago.  Lordy. Lordy. Lordy.  If anyone finds these "miracle jeans"...let me know.  'Cause I plan to buy a pair in every shade.

3.   A live in nanny/housekeeper.

Oh, heck. I need a wife.  Just make her ugly 'cause I've heard too many horror stories about the cute nanny who later takes over other "duties."  Ever saw that movie, "Hand that Rocks the Cradle?"  'Nuff said.

4.  Oil paintings of my children.

Sound really retro?  Well, that's me.  It's a dream of mine to have oils done of the boys.  I would love this.  Santa, do you hear me?  However, I think this would require my children to pose...sit still...etc.  Uh, maybe not?

5.   A cure for cancer.

Cancer is of the devil.  I hate cancer.  I think that it sucks.  It is number one on my list.  However, I know that it's not something that Santa can put under the tree.  It is a prayer of mine that God will see that the end to cancer is in sight.  It's a prayer I make daily along with praying that I will be disease and cancer free...and that God will heal a family member and make her cancer-free.  I hate it.  I really do.

Julie's list ~

1.  Home Alone 5

The Georgia sequel.  I would love to be left completely alone, in my own house, for more than an hour.  I would take a nap.  A long, leisurely bath.  I'd watch something other than Ben 10, football, Little Einsteins or Strawberry Shortcake.  For dinner I would make a thin crust spinach and feta pizza and have a glass of chardonnay.  I would curl up in front of the fire and read one of the 35 books that have been stacked at my bedside for a year.  I'd go to sleep at 9 and sleep until I wake up on my own.  Then I'd go for a run.  Or a bike ride.  Or a leisurely walk.   And then I'd be missing that part of my heart that aches when I'm away from them for more than 24 hours.  But I'd sure enjoy it up until that point!

2.  A Kitchen Aid Mixer

Ok so this is much more realistic than wish #1.  I love to bake, and cook, and I do it all from scratch.  And I'm still using the same little hand mixer we got as a wedding gift 14 years ago.  And one of the beaters falls off every time I'm in the middle of something, so I have to reach into the batter or dough and fish it out and try to reattach it.  Ick.  Santa, please.

3.  Scrapbook Elves

I wish some little elves would come along and organize all of my photos from the past seven years and put them in scrapbooks.  I have all the supplies.  And all the photos.  I just don't have the time.  No, I take it back.  I had the time to do my oldest child's scrapbook.  I started on the middle child's but I don't think I've even taken any pictures of the last child.   Maybe I'll just start now saving for his therapy.

4.  A Kindle.

I can't believe I actually want this.  I love, love, LOVE my books.  I love the feel of a book....the smell....I love flipping over a few pages because I'm so anxious to find out what happens.  When I was in law school, electronic research was just taking off but I rebelled as long as possible because I loved to sit in the law library with stacks of case books spread around me.  I really do hate technology sometimes.  I hate it....but I love it.  Because it does make life easier and more convenient.  And the thought that I could have all my beloved books on one little gadget that could stay tucked away in my purse and brought out at any time I find myself with a spare moment to myself (hahahaha....as if).....well, that's somewhat appealing to this busy Mama.

5.  A Personal Assistant

I think I want Kim's ugly wif'e's ugly sister.  Would that make us in-laws?

Merry Christmas, y'all!

Why I'm Crazy

Conversation with my five-year-old:

Me:  Time to take your nap.  You need to go potty first?

Her:  (in whiney voice)  What did you say?

Me:  Time to take your nap.  C'mon.

Her:  Nooooo.....before that.

Me:  Nothing.  I said c'mon...time for nap.

Her:  (now in whinier voice)  Yes.  You.  Did.  What did you saaaaaaay?

Me:  I didn't say anything except (1) time for nap and (2) asked you if you need to go potty.

Her:  (shrill whiney voice)  You said something!  (Doubling over).  I heard you!  What did you SAAAAAAAAAAY?

Me:  (louder)  Time.  For.  A.  Nap.  Go.  Potty.  Those are the only two things I said related to this nap.  I didn't say anything else.  That's it.  I didn't utter any other words that could be mistaken for anything else.  Nap.  And potty.  THAT'S IT.  Now go take your nap!

Her:  (voice now sounding like fingernails on a chalkboard)  But I heaaaaaaard you say something.  You said something else.  What was it?  (crying now)  Why won't you tellllllll me?

Me:  OH MY FREAKIN' HECK YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!

Just kidding....I didn't say that.

What I actually said was #*(!* $*()#@ @&*(#  !)(*#^@.

Just kidding.  Didn't curse either (at least not out loud).

Actually I stood there and just stared at this beautiful, precious angel who I would give my life for in a split second without thinking twice but wondered how something so precious can make me crazier than a hit dog?

Ya know?

Not a Creature Was Stirring....

not even a mouse.

Bahahaha.  Fat chance in this house!

There's always something stirring.  Especially at Christmastime.



So today was our annual invasion of Christmas mice.  This is so much fun!  A little creepy to have row after row of chocolate varmints with evil red eyes.  But it's a tradition around here.

If you want to make yer own rodents, here's how you do it.

Ingredients: (makes about 35 mice)

One bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips

Bag of Hershey kisses

Two jars of cherries with stems

Sliced almonds

Red food coloring gel

Fudge mint cookies

Instructions:

Melt chocolate chips in a glass bowl in microwave.  Add a splash of oil (I used canola) as you stir the melted chocolate.  This will make it smooth enough for dipping.  Peel your Hershey kisses and put them in a bowl.  Drain the cherries and put them in a bowl or colander.  Empty the almonds into a bowl.  Spread the cookies out on a wax paper lined cookie sheet.  Once you have your assembly line formed, you're ready.

Make sure the three-year-old is happily watching Dora's Christmas party.  Invite the seven-year-old and the five-year-old to help you until they start to get on your nerves or eat all the kisses, in which case send them off to clean up their rooms with the threat that Santa will leave them switches and coal if they don't.

Dip a cherry in the melted chocolate and place on the flat end of a kiss and place it on a cookie.   This is the mouse's body.  I had time to do all the mice before I started on the ears, but you want to get the ears done before the chocolate starts to set.

For the ears, use two sliced almonds.  I like to break them in two, otherwise the ears tend to look like bunny ears.  And that's the wrong holiday, folks.  We'll do those in the spring.  K?

Use the red gel to make the eyes and the nose.

Like so.



We also had some blue and yellow gel.  Catherine decided to give her mouse blue eyes and blonde hair.  She named her Elizabeth.



I wasn't emotionally involved enough to name the other 34 mice.  Besides, they won't be around after tomorrow when Stuart's three-year-old preschool class gets their little hands on them.

Because I am sooooooo not crafty and soooooo not Martha Stewart, but because you might be slightly impressed with the little mouse cuties, I thought I'd also share my holiday table creation I made with a few items from the dollar store and some twigs and berries.



Silver spray-painted walnuts in a bowl.  Some twigs from the yard spray-painted white and some little white paper ball ornaments from the dollar store in a couple of dollar vases filled with white (probably poisonous) berries from a tree in my front yard.

Good things y'all.  Good things.

Get Out! Get In! No...Get OUT!

When I was a kid....well more like a teenager and on into college...Thanksgivings in my house went something like this...

Let me see if I can paint a picture for you.

My mom would have a list a mile long of things to cook and bake and things to be done.  Chopping of vegetables, shredding of cheeses, crushing of nuts (read that how you will)....I know you know the scene.  Mom would have several pots going at once, the turkey in the oven and a pile of ingredients on the counter with a slew of recipes slung across the kitchen.

I'd be sitting there watching the Macy's parade, drinking my coffee and she'd yell "GET IN HERE AND HELP ME!  I NEED SOME HELP!"

So I'd come running.  And I'd start chopping.  Shredding.  Or Crushing.  And she'd start yelling "YOU'RE MAKING A MESS....THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT!"  Then, inevitably.....

"OH JUST GET OUT!  I'LL DO IT MYSELF!"

So I'd leave.  But not before warming up my coffee and grabbing a magazine on the way out.

And I'd sit for about three minutes before I'd hear again....

"HEY!"  "GET IN HERE!  I'LL NEVER GET ALL THIS DONE!  I NEED SOME HELP!"

So I'd schlep back in and get a new set of instructions.

Three...two....one....

"Oh good grief.  What are you doing to those nuts?  I've never seen anyone treat pecans like that.  My pie will be a wreck.  I'll do it myself.  JUST GET OUT!  I'll crush my own nuts."

Sigh.

Sweet memories.

I'm getting all verklempt just thinking about it.

I'm back home this year but I helped out a WHOLE LOT by taking my three kids away from the house yesterday so Mom could get everything done.  It was my major contribution to this year's feast!

Here's hoping your Thanksgiving is filled with good food, sweet family and finely crushed nuts!

What Do Hog Scalders and Owl Pellets Have In Common?

Both played an important role in our second day of madness and mayhem in the mountains!

Best to recap the day in pictures.....

First we headed over to Mountain City, Ga to the Foxfire museum and heritage center.   We started out hiking up a trail to visit some pre-civil war cabins.



Apparently we weren't very subtle.   Because these people here came up about the same time we did and set out on the same tour as us....but they took off down a different trail quickly and we never saw them again.



Their loss.  Because they could have seen how a hog scalder really works.  We had the perfect candidate to re-enact the scene for us at the first cabin.

[caption id="attachment_2354" align="alignnone" width="199" caption="Stuart standing in a hog scalder. He ain't skeered."][/caption]

Next we found the chapel.  A place for peaceful, quiet reflection.



Isn't it sweet?  Doesn't it seem to invite quiet meditation?  Only problem was, it had a bell.  With a long rope.  And six kids who couldn't get enough of the sound.



We also found a garden.  And promptly trampled through it.  It's probably been around since @1820.  And will never be the same again....



So then it was time to leave.  We started out down the trail and this was our view looking down.  See that little one all the way down there.... ??  Yes, he is doing exactly what it looks like he's doing.



We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried.

And as if that wasn't all enough excitement for us....

We came home and dissected owl pellets.

AKA, owl poop....owl vomit.  Doesn't really matter which end of the owl it came from.  All that matters is that we dug through it to see what the owl ate.

All in a day's work.

Deliverance: Revisited

Kim:

Julie graciously invited me and my boys to her father's cabin for a week.  A week of what?

Rest?

Relaxation?

Nope on both counts.  We were to bring all six of our kids.  The plan was to do some "school" and have a week long field trip...and visit with each other after not seeing each other since law school graduation in 2002.  However.....

I should've known when Julie told me that this "cabin chalet" wouldn't show up on GPS, I was in trouble.  I also had some inkling we were "done for" when Julie also told me we would be in the location where the movie, Deliverance, was filmed some many years ago.  She also told me that if I needed her "help up the mountain" to call her....if I still had cell phone reception.

Uh.....

I survived the trip to the cabin, despite two kids puking in the back of the van and one screaming.

Julie and I have big plans for this week.

Today was DAY ONE.  I had this big plan for all of us to do some "homeschoolin'" out at Unicoi State Park.   I found out that the kids could go on a nature field trip while on a hike through the woods, learn something...and get an official badge courtesy of the National Parks.

Not everyone was in the mood to hike.

However, we managed to earn some very cool Junior Ranger badges and meet a very nice forest ranger named Smith.  Of course, we ended the day with a trip to the grocery store for more Little Debbie Snack Cakes because Julie feeds her kids all organic food and Dollar General for some cap guns because we don't have enough mayhem.

On the agenda for tonight?  Roasting hot dogs over an open flame (Lord, please watch over us 'cause we're insane) and making S'mores (more nutritious food) before putting all of the children in bed by 7:00... no that's too early....7:30 p.m.

Julie:

I'll quickly recap the day from my perspective:

5:00 am wake-up call from four boys playing "war" upstairs.

Breakfast of champions:  pop-tarts and capri suns.



Unicoi State Park excursion....let's just say there was so much madness around us that we didn't even notice the random kid in the red jacket who joined our group.  Six kids?  Seven kids?  Whatever.

[caption id="attachment_2341" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Whose kid is this????"][/caption]

Induction into the Jr. Ranger program....





We asked the Ranger....or the Power Ranger as the kids kept calling him.....to take a picture with all of us.  He promptly left and went into counseling.



Oh...did I mention he gave the kids snake skins?

Excellent.

The best part of the day though....while Kim went into the grocery store I sat in the car watching the two van fulls of  (thank you Lord) napping children.  I looked up to find the Starbucks worker standing at the window delivering me a latte.  Compliments of the other half of Mommy, Esq.

What a friend.

What a week.  And it's only been one day!

24

Location:  middle of nowhere, N.Ga. mtns.   The Mommies, Esq. are together again...after eight long years.  The last time we saw each other we were each 20 lbs., two minivans and three kids lighter.  

Some numbers from the past 24 hrs include:

Six children under seven in one small cabin.

One child with strep throat.

Two children with car sickness puking all the way from TN to GA.  

Five boys playing war at 5 am this morning.

Two dear friends chatting over a glass (or two or five) of wine until into the night.

It's loud.  It's crazy.  It's madness and mayhem.

It's wonderful.

White Trash Monday

Today was a weird day.  We did a field trip to the pumpkin patch.  After a sleepless night and a tiring morning picking pumpkins and swatting gnats (gotta love living below  - or is it above - the gnat line?  whatever it is...they are pesky and persistent and as annoying as bamboo shoots under your fingernails), this Mama was toast.

So after "quiet time" (aka mommy-needs-a-short-nap-time) I made a sweet latte and sat on the porch while the kids played in the backyard and pondered what to fix for dinner.

Daddy was working late and wouldn't be home so it was the perfect night for something kid friendly.  In other words, something gross and borderline offensive.

I came up with the perfect recipe.  My kids love corn dogs.  Which I refuse to buy in the store and only let them have when we occasionally fast-food-it.  But I had some hot dog weiners (gross).  Nitrate-free mind you,  making them only mildly gross.  And some cornbread fixins, giving this recipe the June Cleaver stamp of approval.

Corn Dog Casserole, y'all

2 cups cornmeal

2 cups flour

1 tbsp sugar

1 tbsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

2 eggs

1 1/4 cup milk

1 tbsp oil

1 cup grated cheddar cheese

4 hot dog wieners (can't even type this without laughing)

Preheat oven to 425.  Mix dry ingredients together.  In separate bowl, beat milk, eggs, and oil and add to dry ingredients, stirring until well mixed.  Stir in cheese.  Put hot dog wieners in baking dish, pour cornbread mix over wieners and bake for about 20 minutes or until it looks done!

This is what the finished product looks like:



As is our usual custom, I texted Kim with a picture of this lovely creation after talking to her earlier when she told me it made her want to gag  just thinking about it....but when I told her how the kids sounded like Cookie Monster devouring it, she changed her tune.

Somewhat.

She told me I needed to serve it with a salad made from iceberg lettuce with small pieces of chopped up tomato and mayo for dressing, red jello for dee-sert and red kool-aid stirred with my bare hand in a large mason jar.

Little does she know that exact dinner menu will be waiting for her next Monday night when she arrives at the cabin.

To Meet a Princess....

Survivor ~ Disney

Whew!

We're back.  We survived!  Not necessarily un-scarred (emotionally speaking).  But we survived!

Still trying to come up for air from all the laundry and unpacked suitcases...and will have more stories and pictures forthcoming....but wanted to share my favorites so far.

We convinced the three-year-old to ride a roller coaster.  It was a mini coaster...but a roller coaster nonetheless.    Actually I convinced him.   His mother.  The one he trusts (or trusted, rather) more than anyone else.

It will be fun!  I'll be right there with you.  We'll ride together.  You'll love it!  I promise.

So we stood in line.  And he counted my teeth.



We....well, he, actually....thought it was a fun game.  I thought it was kinda gross considering his little hands had just touched every ride in Fantasyland and he was probably depositing some influenza germs in my mouth.  But. Whatever.  He was happy.  And sometimes that's all that matters.



We settled into our little car on Goofy's mini coaster ride.  He still wasn't sure he would like it.   He asked if it was scary.  Nah, I said.  Nothing scary at all about this little old ride.



This is the before picture.



This is the "after" picture.   After he caused what could be a permanent hearing loss in me and the unfortunate passengers on our ride.



From the moment the coaster started moving he buried his head under my arm and screamed like  he'd just encountered Freddie Krueger in a dark forest with the hockey mask and an ice pick.

He didn't speak to me for the next two hours.



Good times.

Making memories, y'all.  It's what it's all about.....

Disney Bound

So we're leaving tomorrow morning for Disney World.  Our first trip with children.  We promised them when the last one got potty trained, we'd go.  In fact, it's how we potty trained the last one.  We told him that Mickey doesn't like diapers in his clubhouse.  And Mommy was sick to death of changing them and Daddy was going broke.  But Mickey was his motivation.

The pot of gold at the end of the pot...I mean....rainbow....was a trip to the big DW.

Somehow we've managed to keep it all a secret though.  They think we are leaving tomorrow to go with Daddy on a work trip.

I couldn't be more excited if tomorrow was Christmas morning and I still believed in Santa.

I've put together a series of clues to send them on a scavenger hunt tomorrow when they wake up.  At the end they will find a letter from Mickey along with t-shirts and some other fun treats.

We're staying at the Nickelodeon hotel which we've heard is an adventure in and of itself....apart from Disneyworld.  My cheap thrifty husband even suggested we just stay at the hotel the whole time and tell them it is the magic kingdom.  Just think of how much we'd save on tickets!

Kind of like how we used to take our beach vacations every year at a resort with a big water slide and lazy river at the pool....we told the kids that was the big water park at the beach all their friends raved about.  They never knew the difference.   Somehow I think they'd suspect something if we tried to pull the same stunt in Orlando.

I can't wait to see the look on my girl's face when she sees her favorite Princess.  Or baby boy's when he sees the Little Einsteins.  Or Daddy's when he sees the price of tickets.

Should be priceless.

Nature Walk Redeemed

So about a month ago, my oldest son started begging to go on a nature walk to the "story tree."  He had discovered said tree on a nature walk with a neighbor who led him across the golf course to a giant oak tree with low limbs on which little boys could climb....and listen to stories, assuming there is a story teller present.

So on our inaugural quest to discover the story tree, I set out with all three of my children on a steaming, humid, south Georgia morning....story book for reading, blanket for sitting, and water for hydrating.  It seemed like a grand plan.    Until we got lost.  Something like three miles from home.  And it was hotter than hades, the three-year-old got a sore foot and had to be carried, the five-year-old got a whiney, annoying attitude and had to be beat with a yardstick ignored, and we all had to be rescued by one of the groundskeepers who happened upon us just prior to my collapse and gave us a ride home in his golf cart.

Whew.

After that episode I texted Kim with a picture of my motley crew after our failed expedition and entitled it "When Nature Walks Turn Evil."

But today....

Oh today.

It was a cool, beautiful fall morning.  The birds were singing.  The sun was peaking over the tree tops.  And the story tree was calling our names, save the three-year-old who was away at preschool.

Hallelujah!!!!

Darn.

Anyway....

This morning we had no problem finding the tree.



Instead of water we took hot chocolate.



We decided it was Silly Sock day, to go along with Story tree day....in celebration of the letter "s."  So we (well, they...) wore silly socks.

See?



Speaking of attire....

One of us took the sudden burst of cooler air to an extreme....one would have thought it was snowing from her wardrobe selection.



Then three minutes later she was barefoot.

One of the great things about fall in the south.



True to its name,  the tree inspired us to read stories.



And just enjoy being together.  In the quiet of the morning.



Until our quiet was interrupted by technology.  Grrrr.  I would have left it at home....



except I'm still having flashbacks from our near demise during the last nature walk and I wanted to make sure I could call 911 and get us life flighted out if need be.

Remind Me Again....(quick)....

Kim and I text each other frequently during the day....in fact, it's a good thing I followed her advice and got the texting plan of a fifteen-year-old girl because my phone sounds like a symphony many afternoons during what all Moms know as the "witching hour".

For homeschool Moms though, sometimes we have witching days...sometimes on end.  Like when the only real break we get from our children is when we lock ourselves in the bathroom and pretend to have a bad case of dysentery.    It's days like that when, as soon as I run in the bathroom, shut the door and turn on the faucet to drown out the whining and fighting, I text Kim with "Quick....remind me again WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY WE DECIDED TO HOMESCHOOL?????"

Sometimes she gives me a good reason.  Sometimes she tells me to pack them a lunch and a notebook and meet the first cheesewagon that rounds the corner.

And then sometimes I come out to find this.



And I quickly text her back....

Nevermind.

There's a Reason They're Called CRACKers

We went to a party last weekend and I decided to take an appetizer.  A simple meat and cheese tray.  With a side of special crackers.  And these crackers are indeed special, my friends.

It's one the craziest recipes I've ever seen.  I started making these last year around the holidays, and they were so good, and everyone went so crazy over them, that I gave them as Christmas presents.

I'm not kidding.

Forget iPhones/Pads,  Tickle-Me Elmos, zhu-zhu pets, silly bands or a Wii.  They have nothing on these crackers.

And because you're some of my closest friends, and because I'm in a sharing mood, here it is.  Enjoy!

Spicy CRACKer Recipe

1 box saltines (I think multi-grain work best)

1 cup vegetable oil

1 package ranch dressing mix

1 tbsp dill weed

1 tbsp red pepper flakes

1 tsp garlic powder

Open the whole box of crackers and dump them in a 2 gallon zip loc bag (a 1 gallon will be too small at this point) or a very large bowl.  Mix oil and remaining ingredients together and pour over crackers, gently tossing to coat.  (note...once all crackers are coated you can fit them all in a 1 gallon bag).  Continue gently tossing bag or stirring crackers if using a container for about 24 hours.  OR...if you can't wait that long....spread crackers on cookie sheets and bake in oven at lowest temperature for about an hour, stirring a couple of times.

You will look like this while you're eating them ~



And like this when they're all gone ~

Add Hairdresser To My Duties

...because I didn't have anything to do this afternoon and was bored.

Riiiiiiiiight.

Actually, cutting her hair on the back porch is easier than loading all three kids in the car, schlepping out to find someone to cut it and wrangling the other two while she melts down in the stylist's chair.  Been there, bought the t-shirt.

So she wanted to get her hair did and this is what we ended up with.

If you look closely it does sort of look like she stuck her head through a barbed wire fence and let a goat chew off the ends.

But she's happy.  And that's all the matters in our world.  'Cause when the five-year-old's happy, we're allllllll happy.

Ya hear me?

The Tree Hugger

There once was a boy who loved to climb trees.

So he ran outside in his pajamas one September morning (with the faintest hint of fall in the air)...

climbed his favorite tree....

and told the tree how much he loved it.

The End.

Y'all go to bed, now.

Say It Ain't So

If someone tells you that they saw my sweet family at the local Mexican restaurant last weekend don't believe them.  It probably wasn't us.

Especially if they tell you our darling three-year-old got a chip stuck in his throat and screamed bloody murder for ten solid minutes while everyone in the restaurant stopped talking to stare at us trying to figure out whether he (a) had been attacked by a swarm of killer bees, (b) was suddenly possessed by demons or (c) was choking (he was screaming....duh)....

Then if they tell you that he stuck his own finger down his throat and made himself throw up all over himself, the booth, the family order of cheese dip and my new dress before we were smart enough to run to the bathroom, tell 'em they must be telling a story....

That kind of thing would never happen to us.

Never.

Project Runway Kindergarten Style

If you send a five-year-old to her room for two hours, she might have a pair of scissors.



And if she has a pair of scissors, she might use them to remove the top layer of her princess nightgown.



And if she removes the top layer of her princess nightgown, she might attach it to a cleverly constructed princess hat made from a piece of white paper and colored with a pink crayon.



And you might have a hard time getting mad at her because....well....it was pretty clever.

And she's so darned cute.

And, after all, she's the one who has to wear the cut up nightgown, not you.

And...who knows....she might be famous one day.