White Trash Monday

Today was a weird day.  We did a field trip to the pumpkin patch.  After a sleepless night and a tiring morning picking pumpkins and swatting gnats (gotta love living below  - or is it above - the gnat line?  whatever it is...they are pesky and persistent and as annoying as bamboo shoots under your fingernails), this Mama was toast.

So after "quiet time" (aka mommy-needs-a-short-nap-time) I made a sweet latte and sat on the porch while the kids played in the backyard and pondered what to fix for dinner.

Daddy was working late and wouldn't be home so it was the perfect night for something kid friendly.  In other words, something gross and borderline offensive.

I came up with the perfect recipe.  My kids love corn dogs.  Which I refuse to buy in the store and only let them have when we occasionally fast-food-it.  But I had some hot dog weiners (gross).  Nitrate-free mind you,  making them only mildly gross.  And some cornbread fixins, giving this recipe the June Cleaver stamp of approval.

Corn Dog Casserole, y'all

2 cups cornmeal

2 cups flour

1 tbsp sugar

1 tbsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

2 eggs

1 1/4 cup milk

1 tbsp oil

1 cup grated cheddar cheese

4 hot dog wieners (can't even type this without laughing)

Preheat oven to 425.  Mix dry ingredients together.  In separate bowl, beat milk, eggs, and oil and add to dry ingredients, stirring until well mixed.  Stir in cheese.  Put hot dog wieners in baking dish, pour cornbread mix over wieners and bake for about 20 minutes or until it looks done!

This is what the finished product looks like:



As is our usual custom, I texted Kim with a picture of this lovely creation after talking to her earlier when she told me it made her want to gag  just thinking about it....but when I told her how the kids sounded like Cookie Monster devouring it, she changed her tune.

Somewhat.

She told me I needed to serve it with a salad made from iceberg lettuce with small pieces of chopped up tomato and mayo for dressing, red jello for dee-sert and red kool-aid stirred with my bare hand in a large mason jar.

Little does she know that exact dinner menu will be waiting for her next Monday night when she arrives at the cabin.

There's a Reason They're Called CRACKers

We went to a party last weekend and I decided to take an appetizer.  A simple meat and cheese tray.  With a side of special crackers.  And these crackers are indeed special, my friends.

It's one the craziest recipes I've ever seen.  I started making these last year around the holidays, and they were so good, and everyone went so crazy over them, that I gave them as Christmas presents.

I'm not kidding.

Forget iPhones/Pads,  Tickle-Me Elmos, zhu-zhu pets, silly bands or a Wii.  They have nothing on these crackers.

And because you're some of my closest friends, and because I'm in a sharing mood, here it is.  Enjoy!

Spicy CRACKer Recipe

1 box saltines (I think multi-grain work best)

1 cup vegetable oil

1 package ranch dressing mix

1 tbsp dill weed

1 tbsp red pepper flakes

1 tsp garlic powder

Open the whole box of crackers and dump them in a 2 gallon zip loc bag (a 1 gallon will be too small at this point) or a very large bowl.  Mix oil and remaining ingredients together and pour over crackers, gently tossing to coat.  (note...once all crackers are coated you can fit them all in a 1 gallon bag).  Continue gently tossing bag or stirring crackers if using a container for about 24 hours.  OR...if you can't wait that long....spread crackers on cookie sheets and bake in oven at lowest temperature for about an hour, stirring a couple of times.

You will look like this while you're eating them ~



And like this when they're all gone ~