Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Remind Me Again....(quick)....

Kim and I text each other frequently during the fact, it's a good thing I followed her advice and got the texting plan of a fifteen-year-old girl because my phone sounds like a symphony many afternoons during what all Moms know as the "witching hour".

For homeschool Moms though, sometimes we have witching days...sometimes on end.  Like when the only real break we get from our children is when we lock ourselves in the bathroom and pretend to have a bad case of dysentery.    It's days like that when, as soon as I run in the bathroom, shut the door and turn on the faucet to drown out the whining and fighting, I text Kim with "Quick....remind me again WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY WE DECIDED TO HOMESCHOOL?????"

Sometimes she gives me a good reason.  Sometimes she tells me to pack them a lunch and a notebook and meet the first cheesewagon that rounds the corner.

And then sometimes I come out to find this.

And I quickly text her back....


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

There's a Reason They're Called CRACKers

We went to a party last weekend and I decided to take an appetizer.  A simple meat and cheese tray.  With a side of special crackers.  And these crackers are indeed special, my friends.

It's one the craziest recipes I've ever seen.  I started making these last year around the holidays, and they were so good, and everyone went so crazy over them, that I gave them as Christmas presents.

I'm not kidding.

Forget iPhones/Pads,  Tickle-Me Elmos, zhu-zhu pets, silly bands or a Wii.  They have nothing on these crackers.

And because you're some of my closest friends, and because I'm in a sharing mood, here it is.  Enjoy!

Spicy CRACKer Recipe

1 box saltines (I think multi-grain work best)

1 cup vegetable oil

1 package ranch dressing mix

1 tbsp dill weed

1 tbsp red pepper flakes

1 tsp garlic powder

Open the whole box of crackers and dump them in a 2 gallon zip loc bag (a 1 gallon will be too small at this point) or a very large bowl.  Mix oil and remaining ingredients together and pour over crackers, gently tossing to coat.  (note...once all crackers are coated you can fit them all in a 1 gallon bag).  Continue gently tossing bag or stirring crackers if using a container for about 24 hours.  OR...if you can't wait that long....spread crackers on cookie sheets and bake in oven at lowest temperature for about an hour, stirring a couple of times.

You will look like this while you're eating them ~

And like this when they're all gone ~

Friday, September 17, 2010

Add Hairdresser To My Duties

...because I didn't have anything to do this afternoon and was bored.


Actually, cutting her hair on the back porch is easier than loading all three kids in the car, schlepping out to find someone to cut it and wrangling the other two while she melts down in the stylist's chair.  Been there, bought the t-shirt.

So she wanted to get her hair did and this is what we ended up with.

If you look closely it does sort of look like she stuck her head through a barbed wire fence and let a goat chew off the ends.

But she's happy.  And that's all the matters in our world.  'Cause when the five-year-old's happy, we're allllllll happy.

Ya hear me?

Friday, September 10, 2010

The Tree Hugger

There once was a boy who loved to climb trees.

So he ran outside in his pajamas one September morning (with the faintest hint of fall in the air)...

climbed his favorite tree....

and told the tree how much he loved it.

The End.

Y'all go to bed, now.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Say It Ain't So

If someone tells you that they saw my sweet family at the local Mexican restaurant last weekend don't believe them.  It probably wasn't us.

Especially if they tell you our darling three-year-old got a chip stuck in his throat and screamed bloody murder for ten solid minutes while everyone in the restaurant stopped talking to stare at us trying to figure out whether he (a) had been attacked by a swarm of killer bees, (b) was suddenly possessed by demons or (c) was choking (he was screaming....duh)....

Then if they tell you that he stuck his own finger down his throat and made himself throw up all over himself, the booth, the family order of cheese dip and my new dress before we were smart enough to run to the bathroom, tell 'em they must be telling a story....

That kind of thing would never happen to us.


Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Project Runway Kindergarten Style

If you send a five-year-old to her room for two hours, she might have a pair of scissors.

And if she has a pair of scissors, she might use them to remove the top layer of her princess nightgown.

And if she removes the top layer of her princess nightgown, she might attach it to a cleverly constructed princess hat made from a piece of white paper and colored with a pink crayon.

And you might have a hard time getting mad at her was pretty clever.

And she's so darned cute.

And, after all, she's the one who has to wear the cut up nightgown, not you.

And...who knows....she might be famous one day.