Friday, April 08, 2016

A Golf Story

I made some fabulous pimento and cheese yesterday. Because the Master's.  I'll have to post the recipe on the food page (since I only have two recipes on there).  Sad.  Anyway, to commemorate this big golf weekend, I thought I'd tell you a little (possibly true) story I once heard.  Everybody quiet, now.  Listen up.

Once upon a time there was a young mom who had just brought baby number three (third baby in four years) home from the hospital in late April.  The Master's was the next week!  Husband had tickets to the practice rounds and was really excited.  The sweet young mom didn't want to tell him he couldn't go, so she smiled sweetly and said "sure, honey!  Go ahead and go and have a great time! You deserve it!"  And so, he went!

Husband returned from the Master's raving about the pimento and cheese sandwiches and brought back some cool green plastic cups, a shirt, and something that looked like a boat oar (odd!) as souvenirs. The lovely, sweet, and gracious mom had survived the weekend with the three littles and husband clearly had had a great time watching golf on a beautiful spring weekend in Augusta. So everybody won. And so life went on.

Many years later, this (not so young anymore) mom had a garage sale.  As she was digging through boxes in the closet, she came across husband's odds and ends he had said to put in the sale.  As she started out of the closet, she noticed an odd looking paddle in the corner.  How bizarre, she thought! We don't have a boat!  And they say if you haven't used anything in more than a year, you should get rid of it.  So she threw it in the box and hauled it out to the garage.  A few minutes later as some middle aged man sauntered through the sale, he picked up that paddle and asked anxiously, "how much?"

Uhhhhh..... "A dollar sound okay?" she shrugged her shoulders and asked.  He quickly drew four quarters out of his pocket, tossed them on the table, and took off with this odd treasure.  So weird!!! (she thought, laughing).  Who would want a silly looking tiny kayak paddle with scribbling all over it?

Husband came out to check on the garage sale and wife, still laughing, told him about the strange transaction.  Husband stared blankly.  "My quiet paddle", he said (quietly).  "Huh?" she asked. "My QUIET PADDLE! From the Master's!" he responded (not so quietly).  "I walked all over that place to get Phil Mickelson's autograph!  And you sold it.  For a dollar."  (insert sad face).

Wife felt really bad about it.  For about 30 seconds.  Then life went on.

The End.

*Some of the details may have been altered to protect the guilty.

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