Spin This

I've been getting up at 4:45 am and going to the gym to work out. I looked at my schedule, along with the schedules of everyone else in the family, and realized that the only time that would allow me to consistently exercise was between midnight and daybreak, when the first early riser has arisen. The gym opens at 5 am, so I'm there waiting for the door to unlock, along with Myrtle, Ethel and Grover. You might have seen them featured on Willard Scott's TODAY segment recently.

Myrtle and Ethel attend the early morning spinning class, so I joined them the other day. I'd never been to this particular class, but since my Silver Senior Sisters were heading in there I figured it couldn't be too strenuous. Was I ever wrong.

I don't know if you've ever been to one of these classes, but you get on a stationary bike and simulate a bicycle workout. You do steady climbs, hills, jumps, and sprints, while your feet are strapped onto the pedals in these little rubber baskets. You also have a resistance knob that you can tighten and loosen as you are instructed.

So, being somewhat out of shape, I was struggling but the Golden Girls were hardly breaking a sweat. Every time the instructor told us to turn up the resistance, I reached down and pretended to turn it. I didn't want to look like a wimp. But I was dying.

I should have realized there was a reason Attila kept telling us to tighten the resistance. It was because we were about to sprint, where you get your feet going as fast as possible. Well....because I had NO resistance, once my feet were moving at optimum speed, I lost control of the pedals. They kept going faster and faster, and I couldn't stop. I had visions of those foot baskets breaking loose, sending me flying off the bike, across the room and smashing into the window. Like a bug.

When the class was over, I slid right off the bike like two dimensional Flat Stanley. My legs were like a couple of overcooked noodles. I left and went straight to the store and bought one of these just so I could get around the house. There's room for all three kids if I put someone on my shoulders.