Thursday, July 12, 2007

Running Scared

Ok so we're in the process of having a lot of work done to our house, which was in desperate need of a face lift (maybe I'm next). Anyway....the outside of the house and yard are pretty much Andy's territory. And he does a great job. But sometimes he fails to keep me up to date on his projects. Like a few weeks ago.

Before I get into that though, I have to preface this story with a little background first. Even though we really do live in Mayberry, I've seen enough Dateline episodes to know that bad things happen. Even in places like Mayberry. So you can never be too careful. So a few months ago one day while the kids were taking their naps, I looked out the front window and saw a strange car and heard someone at the door. I fell to the floor, crawled across the room, reached up and grabbed the cordless phone, hoping the phone lines had not already been cut, and called my friend, neighbor and bodyguard, Karen, who lives behind me.

"Karen," (I whispered), "there's a strange car out front and someone's at my door."

" don't you look outside and see who it is," she calmly told me.

Still whispering I said "I can't see. I'm on the floor. Can you come over?" Being the good friend she is, she ran right over. Of course she came in through my unlocked back door (no one locks doors in Mayberry) and crawled over to where I was hiding behind the chair in the den.

"I saw who it was," she said. "It's a sweet little white haired lady leaving something at your door."

I parted the blinds and peeked outside. It was Miss JoAnn. William's Sunday School teacher. Visiting the children during Sunday School visitation week. Slightly embarrassed, I explained to Karen that I didn't recognize the car and you can never be too careful. Uh-huh, she said. Ok then, buh-bye. And she left me there to recuperate in my panic room. So I survived that episode. But fast forward a few weeks to my recent scare.

Again, nap time. I walked through the front of the house to make sure everything was locked up. I'd just put Catherine down for her nap. William was in the bathroom and Stuart was in his crib. I saw another strange car. And two men getting out and walking up to the porch. I heard them at the door. We don't have a peephole so there's no way to tell who's there without opening the door. If it's Ted Bundy you can't exactly say "Sorry no one's home" and slam the door in his face.

Not wanting to overreact (something I seldom do), I yanked William off the potty and out of the bathroom, made him sit in the middle of the bed in Stuart's room, and called Andy at work to ask him if he was expecting workers that day. "Are they the painters?" he asked me.

"I don't know, I didn't open the door."

"Well are they the brick guys?"


"I just said, I don't know....I didn't open the door!!"

"Well what do you want me to do if you can't even tell me who it is?"

"I want you to come home!"

"But I have an important meeting...."

I interrupted him. In a low whisper I stated, "Well I certainly hope your meeting is important because I think I saw these two guys on America's Most Wanted the other night so when you come home and find your entire family missing and a rabbit boiling in a big pot of water on the stove, you're going to feel just a lit-tle guilty. I'm calling Karen. She cares about us!"

Karen said she'd be right over. So I crept into the kitchen to see Karen and her 13 year old son riding up on his scooter. I met her at the back door. I brought back-up she said.
Great....because Ted and his buddy Jeffrey Dahmer will take off running as soon as they see all of us. I'm opening the door, I told her. Take care of my children for me if anything happens, I asked of her.

I slowly opened the front door, only to see Andy walking up the sidewalk about that time. "Hey" he called to me. "Come out here and meet the BRICK GUYS who are going to start working tomorrow."

I make no apologies to anyone. Like I said earlier, you can't be too careful. If I'm going to be on Dateline I certainly don't want it to be on a segment entitled Murder in Mayberry. But at least next time Miss JoAnn comes to visit she'll have some nice pretty brick steps to walk up to scare me!

1 comment:

Shannon said...

You're hilarious! I'm the same way though! I never open my door unless I know that someone is coming over!