Reflections

William at just a few hours old. September 12, 2003
Catherine at just a few minutes old. August 9, 2005

On my last day as a Mom of two, I can't help but look back over the past 3 1/2 years and reflect on how quickly they have passed. It seems like yesterday that William was born, yet I look at him now as a little boy and I have a hard time remembering that precious tiny baby I held in my arms. I hold him now (when he lets me!) and his long arms and skinny long legs hang halfway down my own body. Those tiny fingers I stared at and counted over and over are now long enough to intertwine with my own when we hold hands. Where did that baby go?

Then Catherine came along and I tried to cherish every moment, knowing how fast they fade away. I would stare at her and try to memorize every crease and line on her face, every expression, and hold on to every little sound she made. But even trying to hold on with all my might, those moments passed too quickly and are now only a faint memory. I will remind myself of this in the coming days and weeks when I'm cross-eyed from sleep deprivation and exhausted beyond ability to string coherent words together....and will try to cherish even those 3 am moments because they just don't last forever.

Last night after dinner we were all out on the patio, enjoying the nice weather and watching the kids blow bubbles and run and play. For just a second I wondered how we were going to make room in our hearts and home for this new little one. But I know in less than 24 hours, when that precious baby is finally here, we will wonder what we ever did without him or her.

Just when you think your heart can't hold any more love, God opens it up to hold more than you ever imagined. It's happened to me twice before. And will happen again tomorrow. Now that's a miracle.