Thursday, August 30, 2007

What's the Deal?

I don't understand the fascination....the utter jubilation....of Band-Aids to kids. Band-Aids are to my kids what cigarettes are to prisoners. It's the hottest item in our house. No less than 50 times on a daily basis someone gets "hurt" and the only cure is a Dora or a Spiderman Band-Aid. Not the beige things with holes in them like we had as kids. No. Those don't work. And the people who make them know it. That's why you can get a box of 100 of those for .49 but Spiderman or Dora strips are like $4.50. Each.
Heaven help us if one of them gets a Band-Aid and the other one doesn't. The other day we started to get in the car and William spotted a Dora strip on Catherine's foot where she had a "bo-bo."
"Heyyyyyyy.....Where did you get THAT? I WANT ONE!" Geez.
I've had to limit the number of "injuries" that need Band-Aids in a day. I've also had to put restrictions on the type of injuries that will necessitate these plastic strips of gold. Basically, at this point, I'm looking for open gaping wounds. Or a little blood. At the very least. The other day I pulled a tangle in Catherine's hair when I was brushing it. She started howling, through her tears begging "Imannabi-nay" I need a Judges ruling on this I said. EEGH! Sorry.
Anyway. So yesterday afternoon William "fell" and did the fake cry - "wah. wah. wah. Mama I need a band-aid. I'm hurt."
"Is blood dripping off your leg?"
He looked hard. Real hard. Then said "No, BUT..."
I interrupted him. "William, you know the rule. Band-Aids are to keep blood from dripping off of your body and onto my nice rugs. That's what they are for. They aren't tattoos. They aren't decorations. They aren't stickers. If you want a sticker, go get one of those with the smiley face that we bought at the dollar store. There are about 500 of those that you can stick all over your body. But DO NOT ask for another Band-Aid unless you are bleeding. Capice?"
The he really started crying. I mean....someone stole your last bite of brownie (or brought you a tiny milkshake) kind of cry. What's wrong now, I asked?
"WAAAAHHHHH. WAAAAAAAAHHHHH." Sniffle sniffle and big breath, with huge tears streaming down his face. "I want to be BLEEDING!!!" Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.
Lord help me.

1 comment:

Mary Anna said...

I don't get it either, however-- I remember my obsession with these little jewels in elementary school. We couldn't afford them though, and the boring beige ones just didn't cut it.

I can also remember being really enthralled with the circular-shaped bandaids. I thought they were SO cute and SO out-of-the-box from my standard rectangular ones...