What Not to Wear

Having a baby at the beginning of summer means have a post baby body during the summer and the possibility of having to be seen in a swimsuit. UGH So....I went shopping for something with maximum coverage. Forget the swim skirt. I need a swim formal. I made the mistake of taking the baby with me. Not that I have much choice since I'm tethered to him. But I guess I thought he would sleep peacefully while I tried on swimsuits. Guess I mistakenly thought anything about the experience would be peaceful.

The moment I walked in the store he started howling. I was determined though. I grabbed a few suits and headed for the dressing room where the howling turned to all out blood curdling screams. Still I pressed on. I had just gotten undressed when someone knocked on the door of my dressing room and some lady said "Ma'am....would you like me to hold the baby while you try on clothes?"

Now let me just say, with my firstborn I wouldn't have considered it. In fact would have been horrified and would have reported it to Chris Hanson for his next segment of To Catch a Predator. With my second child I would have considered it momentarily but would have politely refused. Poor Number 3 though. I didn't think twice, didn't even look to see who or what was standing outside that door, just grabbed him out of the carrier, shoved him out the door and said "Here" and slammed the door.

Then about a second later I realized I'd just handed my child off to a stranger, so I cracked the door to see a really sweet looking lady rocking him back and forth. I did keep the door cracked and was prepared to run through the store naked if she took off with my child. But at least for about 5 minutes I was alone in that dressing room and it was quiet. Quiet enough for me to concentrate on what I was doing and realize that there's NO WAY I'm going public in a swimsuit this summer.

Who am I kidding though. Am I really going to be lounging by the pool at any point between now and Christmas? I remember a few months before the baby was born mentioning something about going to the pool to my friend Christy, who has 3 children - older now - but the same closeness in age as mine. She just died laughing. When I asked what was so funny, still laughing hysterically she said "You think you're going to be at a pool this summer. You think you're going anywhere this summer. Someone is ALWAYS going to be sleeping at your house. But it won't be YOU!"

Truer words have never been spoken.