Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Role Reversal

So yesterday I went to a management meeting at the Grand Hotel that included lunch, meetings all afternoon, and dinner. Since our nanny doesn't start until Monday, Andy picked the kids up at school, stayed home with them all afternoon and enjoyed a gourmet meal of chicken nuggets, tater tots and applesauce. I had grilled tuna, lightly seared with a pineapple/mango salsa served over a rice pilaf and seasonal vegetables. And bread pudding with whiskey sauce for dessert. But I digress.

Usually it's been me at home, answering the phone with screaming hungry children clawing and hanging off of me, when Andy calls to "check in" on his way to a business dinner at some upscale steakhouse. Yesterday I called about 5:00 to check in and when I couldn't hear him over all the screaming and carrying on, I sadly had to run and said I'd see him later. When I came home after dinner, ex-hausted from a grueling day of sitting in a chair listening to grown ups talk while I was served Dove chocolates and Diet Coke, I just had to kick my shoes off and plop down in the recliner to watch some football. I asked Andy what he'd been doing all day because it didn't look like much to me. (note: I'm truly embellishing here for creativity's sake because I have to say the house was spotless, kids were in bed and all was calm...I was QUITE impressed).

But oh how I missed my babies! I quickly changed clothes and crawled in bed with each of them just to snuggle and get some good sugar that I'd missed all day. Yesterday was really just a trial run. I don't officially start my job until Monday.

Funny thing about that meeting. See, I've been HOME for more than three years. Truly, other than Law and Order and a few re-runs of Legally Blonde, I've not been too immersed in the legal world. And I haven't been in the banking world since I was a teller one summer during college, circa nineteen-ninety-something. So as I sat there listening to all these banking officers talk, what I mostly heard was "blah blah blah blah money" and "blah blah blah loans" and "blah blah accounts". Basically, there was just a smattering of words that I recognized. Mostly from having cashed a few checks and made a few deposits myself at my local bank through the years. I have a lot to learn.

But at one point someone turned to me as I was zoning out and asked me what I thought about it. (meaning, whatever blah blah blah they'd just been discussing). I froze in fear that I was about to answer something like, "Well, um, the way I see it, I can make an analogy to the time that Dora had eight books to return to the library, but Swiper the Fox stole two of them, so she only had six left. But thanks to Map showing her the way across Tall Mountain, she and Boots the Monkey were able to get them back and she turned all eight of them in!"

Instead, I tried to toss out some legal terminology (in LATIN) that would make me sound like I actually still have a few working brain cells. So I said something like, "Um, the uh, habeas corpus of the stare decisis is very pro hac vice to me. So, um, I don't really object, your honor."

They were really impressed, I think. So far I haven't gotten a call from them saying "uh, thanks but no thanks. That will be all." So I guess we're still on for Monday!

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