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Friday, December 15, 2006

The Dreaded Christmas Card




Well it's that time of year again (actually it's about 3 weeks past that time) when you put together your Christmas card and photo to send out to family and friends, old and new, to show off your children or update everyone on the goings on of the past year. Christmas cards, schristmas cards I used to say....I could take them or leave them, send them or not. Before I had kids that is. Once you and your friends start having kids though everything changes and THE CHRISTMAS CARD becomes one of the landmark moments of the year. It's your one chance to show off those precious angels, in their perfect holiday outfit, in front of the perfect tree that you've decorated....or perhaps in their perfect ski outfits from that perfect family vacation you took last year.....or maybe you get creative and send out the picture of them in their perfect non holiday outfit in a cotton patch (Merry Christmas Y'all) or in their perfect swimsuit in the sand in front of your new perfect beach condo (Warm Wishes or Have a White Christmas)....you get the picture. Because you've received that perfect card. Perhaps just in yesterday's mail. But it wasn't from me.

No, sir. It wasn't from me. You see, I bought THE Christmas outfits a while back, envisioning the precious picture....William lovingly holding his little sister, surrounded by the overflowing Christmas presents under our gleaming tree. The gingerbread house that William and I had created would be displayed proudly to one side....you would almost be able to smell the pine...taste the cinnamon....hear the crackling fire. Oh how I was longing for the holiday season. And here we are. But there are no presents under my tree because the kids would tear them up. In fact, there are no presents wrapped because I've been so busy changing dirty diapers and disinfecting our house from Catherine's nearly 3 week stint with diarrhea (Happy Holidays!) and doing my impersonation of someone infected with TB after my more than one week stint with a cold and cough that won't go away. The tree is fake...yes I said FAKE....so the only smell of pine is from the tiny unlit votive out of reach of little hands which, if it were lit, would be the ONLY fire crackling in our house because we don't even have a fireplace (which is why our stockings are hanging on the bottom 1/3 of the tree). The tree is only partially gleaming because there are no decorations within reach of said little hands. As for the gingerbread house....r...i...i..i...i..ght.

So the pictures above were my last attempt to capture the spirit of the season while at a family gathering last week, but I haven't been able to figure out how to photo shop out the blue plastic crocs William insisted on wearing, or the Superman cape, or how to photo shop in the loving, charming scene I had pictured in my mind. This isn't even taking into consideration that trying to get a 3 year old and a 16 month old to cooperate and sit still for a picture is, as I've used this analogy before, like herding cats. Herding cats with socks on. An exercise in futility.

I'm not giving up the dream though. Perhaps next year we'll send warm wishes from some sandy white beach somewhere. For the time being though, and in case you don't find something from us in your mailbox in the next week or so, using the theme of the pictures above....Have a Nutty Christmas! We sure are.

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