Thank you sir, may I have another?!?

[Disclaimer:  This post could be just a nightmare from which I'll awaken and it will have never happened...]

So it seems that after living in Louisiana for more than four years now, no one is going to show up on my door with a law license for me just because I'm a (sometimes) nice person and I'd be a real asset to the legal community here.  Aaaaand....it doesn't seem likely that I'll be able to trade in my Alabama, Mississippi, or Florida license for a Louisiana license.  I'd do a three for one deal but apparently it doesn't work that way.  Aaaand....clearly we're not moving back to Alabama anytime in the foreseeable future.  SO....that only leaves one option if I ever desire to practice law again....

take the *%&# Louisiana bar exam.

(insert manic scream here)

When I walked out of my last bar exam a little more than ten years ago (which was my third bar exam in so many years....all different states mind you....and I passed them all thankyouverymuch), I said emphatically "I will NEVER ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER in a million years take another exam of ANY KIND again EVER!!!!  I don't ever even want to do an eye exam EVER!  If my driver's license was to get suspended and I had to take an exam to get it back, I'd tell them to kiss my grits and I'd get me a bike with a basket!"

Famous.  Last.  Words.

Sort of like saying "my child will NEVER ________  (eat only mac-n-cheese three meals a day) (use a pacifier until he's four) (wear a Buzz Lightyear costume to church)."  

Riiiiiiiiight.......

The truth is, I'm scared to death to attempt another bar exam after all these years.  ALL THESE YEARS of endless Little Einsteins, Dora, and now Jessie and Good Luck Charlie episodes.  I fear I've eaten way too many grilled cheese sandwich crusts and suffered such sleep deprivation that has impaired my ability to generally form coherent sentences, much less be able to decipher fact patterns and analyze applicable law.  I worry about putting the burden on my family now that is the craziness of studying for a bar exam.   It's sort of like childbirth.  The memory of the actual pain isn't easily recalled but the scars are there to remind you that you did it and it was hard....and yet you survived.  And some of us do it again.  And again.  And again.....

The greater truth is I'm scared not to do it.  I'm afraid if I continue putting it off, I may never go back to the law.  And that's a reality that is beginning to make me sad.

I recently looked at a copy of a previous Louisiana bar exam just to get my sea legs back and I started to get a nervous tic as I read through some of the questions.   But I can do this....right?

Right?????