Conversation with my five-year-old:
Me: Time to take your nap. You need to go potty first?
Her: (in whiney voice) What did you say?
Me: Time to take your nap. C'mon.
Her: Nooooo.....before that.
Me: Nothing. I said c'mon...time for nap.
Her: (now in whinier voice) Yes. You. Did. What did you saaaaaaay?
Me: I didn't say anything except (1) time for nap and (2) asked you if you need to go potty.
Her: (shrill whiney voice) You said something! (Doubling over). I heard you! What did you SAAAAAAAAAAY?
Me: (louder) Time. For. A. Nap. Go. Potty. Those are the only two things I said related to this nap. I didn't say anything else. That's it. I didn't utter any other words that could be mistaken for anything else. Nap. And potty. THAT'S IT. Now go take your nap!
Her: (voice now sounding like fingernails on a chalkboard) But I heaaaaaaard you say something. You said something else. What was it? (crying now) Why won't you tellllllll me?
Me: OH MY FREAKIN' HECK YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!
Just kidding....I didn't say that.
What I actually said was #*(!* $*()#@ @&*(# !)(*#^@.
Just kidding. Didn't curse either (at least not out loud).
Actually I stood there and just stared at this beautiful, precious angel who I would give my life for in a split second without thinking twice but wondered how something so precious can make me crazier than a hit dog?
Ya know?
3 comments:
If you actually did actually tell her that she was driving you crazy, would that make you a bad mother? Um, just askin' because well, if it does, maybe I belong on the naughty list....
Newsflash: You were already crazier than a hit dog hon. But I love you anyway.
This is so my life with my 3 year old. Are you telling me it gets worse???
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