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Friday, February 27, 2015

Five Reasons It Stinks To Have a Lawyer Mom (or Dad)

I was originally going to call this post "Five Reasons I Hate Articles Listing Five Reasons Why...". I mean....really.   Why is it that every single article or blog post you see anymore starts out listing a number of things you should do or say or eat or wear?  It kind of makes my skin crawl.  Almost as much as hair salons named for a play on the word "hair."  Hair You Go!  Hair We Are!  The Hairafter!  (the absolute worst).  Or EVEN worse, salons or barber shops that cutesy spell "cut"....Kuttin' Loose!  Krazy Kutters!   We Will Kut.  You.  (kidding...I've never seen that one but I might actually like it.).   Not sure how I got off on this tangent but while I'm on my pet peeves, another one is having to listen to someone chew a banana but I'll save that for another post.  Because it's not my only issue with bananas.

I started thinking about why it probably stinks to have a lawyer parent (or heaven forbid parentS) when one of my law school friends posted a hilarious letter from his daughter pleading her case to have her little sister evicted from her room.  His response was classic.  It's not my story to tell so I'm not sharing it here, but it made me think about how from day one LK's (lawyer kids) don't stand a chance.

I remember when my oldest was about two years old we were riding in the car with a friend of mine when little guy asked for something and I said no.  Being two and being very good at it, he asked again.  Again I said no and when he started to ask a third time I reminded him that I had said no and it was "non-negotiable."  My friend laughed and said "he doesn't know what that means!"  I looked in the rear view mirror and asked "William, what does non-negotiable mean?"  He sighed loudly and explained "it means really, really no."   So there's that.

Now that they're older, they really don't even get as far as the second request for something before I shut them down with "Asked and answered!"

Then there's the fact that most lawyers have seen and heard everything....we expect the worst.  So when our kids meet a new friend and want to spend the night and we don't know the parents, we remember that case we had where the dad was found in a camper with no pants on making meth.  So, NO!   Wait...maybe that was a tv show.  But the point is, we've seen it all.  We're naturally skeptical and we question everything.  And believe nothing.  And that stinks when you're a kid trying to plead your case.

There are probably other reasons it stinks to be a LK and I'm sure I didn't list five but I already said I hate those lists.  Besides, I'm hungry.  I think I'm going to go kut up a banana.