Homely, Party of One

Ok so I used to take such pride in my appearance and even if it was a trip to the grocery store I would fix hair, put on makeup, and clothe myself. In something other than nightclothes. That was, until I became a Mom. Actually....I didn't start on the downward spiral until after Number 2 was born. Number 3 sent me over the edge. With Number 1 I thought I was kinda cute Mom. Next child came along and I was a little more frazzled, but after this last one I'm just downright homely. I go places now looking like I've been cleaning poo all day. Now that I think about it....

Anyway....The thing is, with 3 children, you never know when the opportunity might arise to actually get out of the house. Alone. To go shopping, mail a letter, or anything else that is nothing short of traumatic to haul 3 small children. So when that opportunity comes up, you don't even stop to put on lipstick or brush teeth. Or even get dressed. If you remotely have on anything that won't get you arrested for indecent exposure, have a stick of gum handy and can grab the lipstick on your way out, you take off before whomever has offered to keep your children for you changes their mind.

So today Mimi and Papa came over to play with the kids and when Mimi said to me "why don't you go somewhere," I looked down to make sure I had on pants and grabbed the keys and my wallet and was out the door before she finished the sentence.

When my cell phone rang as I was slowly wandering up and down the grocery aisles (as opposed to speed racing with a screaming baby, or two) I was so excited that my friend Amy was looking for a lunch date. A LUNCH DATE! For once I was able to say YES!!!! I can go...meet you in 15 minutes. Then I realized what I looked like. Someone who had just finished cleaning the toilets. In the middle of the night. I honestly think I had on pajama pants. I held my hand in front of my mouth, breathed real hard, grabbed a pack of gum on the way out and proceeded on to lunch.

I found some lipstick in the car, along with a brush, and when I looked in the mirror I was happy that I at least looked like someone who had scrubbed toilets with makeup on. I rushed into the restaurant, assured the waiter that I in was in fact there to eat lunch and not scrub their toilets, was seated, and ordered a glass of fancy blueberry infused tea. I took a deep breath and savored the moment as I perused the menu, happy that I didn't see my usual lunch featured: peanut butter and jelly sandwich crusts and pretzel pieces left over from what William wouldn't eat 'cause they were "bruke."

Amy arrived and we had a delightful lunch. Then my cell phone started ringing every 5 minutes summoning Dairy Queen for a hungry baby. So I returned from whence I had come.

But at least I returned to clean toilets!

What's the Deal?

I don't understand the fascination....the utter jubilation....of Band-Aids to kids. Band-Aids are to my kids what cigarettes are to prisoners. It's the hottest item in our house. No less than 50 times on a daily basis someone gets "hurt" and the only cure is a Dora or a Spiderman Band-Aid. Not the beige things with holes in them like we had as kids. No. Those don't work. And the people who make them know it. That's why you can get a box of 100 of those for .49 but Spiderman or Dora strips are like $4.50. Each.

Heaven help us if one of them gets a Band-Aid and the other one doesn't. The other day we started to get in the car and William spotted a Dora strip on Catherine's foot where she had a "bo-bo."

"Heyyyyyyy.....Where did you get THAT? I WANT ONE!" Geez.

I've had to limit the number of "injuries" that need Band-Aids in a day. I've also had to put restrictions on the type of injuries that will necessitate these plastic strips of gold. Basically, at this point, I'm looking for open gaping wounds. Or a little blood. At the very least. The other day I pulled a tangle in Catherine's hair when I was brushing it. She started howling, through her tears begging "Imannabi-nay Mama....Imannabi-nay.....peeeeeese....bi-nay." I need a Judges ruling on this I said. EEGH! Sorry.

Anyway. So yesterday afternoon William "fell" and did the fake cry - "wah. wah. wah. Mama I need a band-aid. I'm hurt."

"Is blood dripping off your leg?"

He looked hard. Real hard. Then said "No, BUT..."

I interrupted him. "William, you know the rule. Band-Aids are to keep blood from dripping off of your body and onto my nice rugs. That's what they are for. They aren't tattoos. They aren't decorations. They aren't stickers. If you want a sticker, go get one of those with the smiley face that we bought at the dollar store. There are about 500 of those that you can stick all over your body. But DO NOT ask for another Band-Aid unless you are bleeding. Capice?"

The he really started crying. I mean....someone stole your last bite of brownie (or brought you a tiny milkshake) kind of cry. What's wrong now, I asked?

"WAAAAHHHHH. WAAAAAAAAHHHHH." Sniffle sniffle and big breath, with huge tears streaming down his face. "I want to be BLEEDING!!!" Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

Lord help me.

Four Months Today

Four months of juggling. Of balancing. Of tasting all hours of the night. Of protecting from overly zealous siblings. Of always having only one hand free. Of eating cold meals. That were supposed to be hot. Of days where the pinnacle....the goal....the cheese at the end of the maze....is simply a shower. But then again....

Four months of kissing on sweet baby toes. Of snuggles, nuzzles, and feeling that sweet, smooth little head on the side of my face. And wanting to make time stand still. Of seeing that big toothless grin as I peer into the crib and can't help but smile. Even at 3 am. Of watching this little personality unfold day by day. And never ceasing to be amazed. Even the third time around. Of discovering that there's always room for one more in a Mother's heart. And on her lap. And in her arms. Of stopping during the busy day to sit and rock and comfort a crying baby. And being grateful for a reason to stop and rest.

It's A Bird, It's A Plane.....

No, it's just William. As Superman. His favorite thing to do these days is dress up and act out. He is SO dramatic too. I have no idea where he gets that from. Must be Andy's side of the family.

Superman, Spiderman, or even a fairy Princess (much to Andy's dismay). The boy loves to dress up. And he doesn't discriminate. Catherine got a trunk full of dress of clothes for her birthday (tutu, fairy wings, crown, gloves, pearls, even high heels...the works) and I think William has worn everything more than she has. When I addressed him as Princess William, he corrected me. "No, Mama. I'm PRINCE William." Uh huh. Riiiiiiight.

When he's acting out Superman, he enlists Catherine as Supergirl, his sidekick. She has no idea what she's doing, but she plays along and does whatever she's told. One night, William decided that Daddy should be Superstar. I cracked up when I heard Catherine walking through the house, looking for her Daddy and, in that little sing-songy voice, calling out " ... AHHHH (are) you, Supah-stah???"

These are things I hope I always remember but know I probably won't. These are also the moments that never fail to make me laugh, no matter what kind of day I've had.

It's a pretty fair exchange.

And What Do YOU Do?

It's been more than two years now that I've been "of counsel" with my law firm. People ask me all the time....what exactly is "of counsel?" Andy is usually quick to point out it's "sans paycheck." Actually it's just the very nice way my firm has kept me connected, on the letterhead, invited to social outings, all with the possibility that I'll return at some point. Which I plan to. One day. When I can return without toting my breast pump along with my briefcase.

So I've been in a strange place these past two years and have suffered sort of an identity crisis. Especially when someone asks me what I do? I mean, where do I start? I am a sanitation technician, interpreter, nurse, meal planner, head chef, personal shopper, referee, animal control officer, and general domestic engineer extraordinaire. Oh yeah, and I'm also an attorney.

One of my most memorable episodes dealing with this was when I was about 14 months pregnant with Number 3. I was at a birthday party with William and several of us parents were standing around talking. The father of one of the kids asked me (or so I thought) "What do you do?"

Ever have one of those out of body experiences where you are like floating high above yourself looking down, wondering why someone doesn't slap that crazy person and make her shut up? It was like that. I started in, explaining, "Oh I'm a lawyer. I mean I was a lawyer. Well actually I still am. I'm just at home right now. I mean I guess I'm a stay at home mom. But I'm still on the letterhead at my firm and I could practice law if I wanted to but I mean who has time with all the diapers and feedings and sleepless nights and carpooling, and blah blah blah. But I'm going to go back. At some point. That is if I can ever stop having babies. HA HA HA HA."

At this point all the parents are looking at me like I'm crazy. And then this Dad says....and I still turn red when I remember this.... "NO. I said, WHEN are you DUE?"

"Oh.... (and I start rambling again)....HA HA....I thought you said what do you DO?

HAHA...HAHA

Ha Ha....

Ha....Ha.... Ha.

H. H.

h. h.

. "

I think it was Sandra Day O'Connor who responded, when asked whether a woman can truly have it all that, yes, she can....just not all at the same time. For me this has been true. I know that I can do it all. And I will do it all. Just not all at once.

Truth is I'm very proud of the fact that I'm able to stay at home right now and care for and nurture these three precious little souls. I'm also proud of the fact that I made it through three years of law school and the bar exam. But I'm even prouder that I managed to walk away from that birthday party without uttering another word and left with at least a portion of my dignity intact.

At least that's what I told myself.

End of Summer?

The kids started back to "school" today. I find it hard to believe it's time for school when the temperatures are in the triple digits.

This is Catherine's first time going to preschool, and will be a huge test for us (for her) when we get into cold and flu season. For a child with only one good lung, we've been incredibly lucky and blessed that she has been the picture of health for the past two years. But then again she's never been exposed during sick season. I pray over my children daily, but am sending up extra prayers for protection over her this year.

Can you tell from the picture that we finally got a real kiddie pool? Of course I think William still thinks it's a "kitty" pool and that all the neighborhood cats hang out in it at night when we're asleep. Anyway....the kids have had fun splashing around in it on these oh so hot afternoons.

And this was the look I got when I told Catherine it was time to come in.

I Love A Bargain!

My sister-in-law, the Queen of Good Deals, sent me this link to a baby food coupon from Target. It's a web coupon that you can print out as many times as your ink holds out and use as many times as the scanner will scan. It's for $1.00 off of any two baby or toddler food products. My little guy is just starting to eat baby food, so I decided to stock up. I like to make my own baby food (notice the Annable Karmel link) but that was before I had THREE little ones. It was hard enough with two. This time my homemade baby food may be little more than a fleeting thought.

When Kami told me about her shopping experience with the coupon, I thought she was kidding when she said she ended up getting like 50+ jars of food for 41 cents! So yesterday afternoon I went to Tar-get to see if I'd have the same luck. I was a little skeptical about loading my cart full of food and feared that I'd get all the way to the check out lane and only be able to use one coupon and, too embarrassed to return everything, end up purchasing $300 worth of sweet peas and prunes. But I piled everything on the belt, watched it all scan, handed over 30 coupons and watched the discounts fly. When all was said and done I think I paid about $2.00 for enough food to last us through any natural disaster we might face this season (trying not to jinx our run of good luck with no hurricanes so far!).

Anyway....here it is....and it expires on Wed. so if you feel so inclined, or know of someone who might benefit....or just might want to go stock up and make a drop at the local food bank....Print on!

http://coupons.50webs.org/coupons37/coupon2.html