Wanted: Babysitter Not on Parole

Andy and I had a date last weekend for the first time in months I do believe. In fact, I can't remember the last time we had dinner together that we didn't have to utter the phrase "you're not leaving this table until you eat finish your dinner." Or "the dog doesn't eat peas." Or "get your fork out of your nose."

Anyway....we ended up with tickets to this swanky fundraiser event at the 11th hour, which meant all the A list babysitters had plans. In fact, the B list babysitters were all taken as well. So we were reduced to standing on the street corner looking for prisoners on work release to come keep our kids. Not really. But close.

But then miracle of miracles, a friend of the regular babysitter of a friend (did you get that?) happened to be free. So I called that friend to see what she knew of "Sarah." Just Sarah is all I had to go by. No last name. And only a cell phone. But the friend had actually used Just Sarah before, and thought a lot of her, and said she was super responsible and very sweet and highly recommended her.

I really wanted a night out. Like I said before, with the first child we did background checks and set up nanny cams for sitters. With the second we at least got a last name. By the time the third child came along, and we became desperate for time away, our standards are only that the sitter (a) has a first name and (b) is breathing. Just Sarah satisfied both of these conditions.

Actually Just Sarah did turn out to be wonderful. She was great with the kids, the kids loved her, and we will certainly call her again. And she's an Auburn fan so she ranks high with Andy.

And as it turns out she does have a last name. Isn't that wonduhful?

Photo Shoot

Ok, everyone lean in next to Stuart so I can get a picture.

I said lean in next to him, not on him.

No, don't kiss him, William. Just put your face next to his.

Now Catherine you put your face next to Stuart. Look at Mama. Say CHEESE!

William, stop making faces. Catherine look at Mama. Everyone smile. I SAID SMILE!

I'm sweating.

I'm exhausted.

I'm done.

And the Word for the Day Is.....

We were eating dinner last night and Catherine, in an unprecedented act of kindness, gave William one of her apple slices. I told her how nice it was of her to share her food. Then William started telling me that he wasn't allowed to share his food with his friends at school. He said the teacher wouldn't let them share. He seemed upset by it.

So I told him that she wasn't trying to keep them from being nice, she was just trying to protect anyone in his class that might have an allergy. Thinking it was a rather big word for a 4 year old, I started trying to explain what an allergy is.

"You know how our friend Dylan can get really sick if she eats peanut butter? Well that's called an allergy. And there might be a little boy or girl in your class who could get sick from eating something that you brought for lunch, even though it doesn't make you sick. So if someone in your class has an allergy, the teacher can't let you share your food. Can you say allergy?"

He just looked squarely at me and said, "I know what an allergy is, Mama. It's like when the house falls on top you."

I squinted my eyebrows and before I could say "Huh?" he corrected himself and said, "No, wait a minute. That's called an e-mer-gen-cy."

You don't say.

Shopping Spree

Ok so remember my last blog entry was about how we were back on schedule and kids were going back to school? Well that was before Catherine woke up last Wednesday morning with a diaper full of toxic waste so lethal that the streets surrounding our house had to be closed to through traffic. I decided that they just don't pay that preschool teacher enough money (they don't pay ME enough money!) to clean up something like that, so it was my civic duty to keep her home that day.

But that just happened to be the day my cleaning lady (God love her for trying to help me keep this place in order) came and since our house is not very big (begging the question WHY do I need a cleaning lady??? You read my blog...you can see why I'd need one if I lived in a shoe) I like to get out from under her feet and let her tackle this mess in peace. So there I was with one 5 month old....one constipated 5 month old who had been given a big bowl of prunes for breakfast....and one 2 year old....who had the absolute and complete opposite condition.

SO what do I do? I decide to go shopping! Now, I must explain that I looked like something that could appear on the best of Jerry Springer. But I needed some new bath rugs for my bathroom and for some reason it seemed like a great time to find some. So off we went to Tuesday Morning.

Stuart in his carrier in the front of buggy, and Catherine sitting in the basket with her juice and cheerios, and I sped through the store looking for the bath rug aisle. I made it there and not 30 seconds later Stuart starts fussing. So I'm pushing the buggy back and forth with one hand and digging through bath rugs with the other. Rugs are falling all over the floor as I'm reaching in with one hand to pull the one I think I want from the bottom of the heap.

About that time I hear (and you'll just have to imagine the sound because I have no idea how to spell it) what sounds like a minor eruption from some one's rear end. Seeing no one else around me, and judging from Stuart's still frustrated look on his face, I could safely assume it wasn't him. Catherine slowly stands up in the buggy and I said softly "Was that you?"

"Uh-huh. I stinky Mama."

Now I knew I really needed to get out of there but I really wanted some rugs for my bathroom. So I furiously start digging through the rugs, looking for three matching ones that I might be able to grab and pay for before the diaper completely fails. But no such luck. Knowing my time was up, I yelled "Hold on Baby" and took off like something that had been shot out of a cannon, over the pile of rugs, towards the front of the store. As I approached the door and wheeled around to back through the un-automatic door, the sirens all went off as Catherine waves around a random tablecloth she had pulled into the buggy. I grabbed it from her, threw it to the cashier, apologized and disappeared before we could all get arrested.

We made it to the car and, after assessing the situation, realized that it had sounded much worse than it was. So I changed her in the front seat, loaded everyone back up and, too embarrassed to return to Tuesday Morning (for probably forever), took my crew into Big Lots. We looked much more like Big Lots shoppers at that point anyway.

I'm putting on a big hat, blonde wig and sunglasses to go shopping later on today. At Tuesday Morning.

Back to School

The kids are going back tomorrow, now that we seem to be over all the puking, pooping and overall puniness. Of course, Catherine will probably run into class and kiss her new friend N. Flu Enza, and William's new buddy Rhoda Virus will give him a present to bring home to share with the rest of us, but at least for tomorrow we'll be back to normal.

Yesterday, as we were having some quality bonding time together, and I was racking my brain to come up with something to do that didn't involve TV or the giant zip loc bag of crayons and old coloring books they are bored to tears over, I decided we'd take a trip to the farmer's market and peruse the harvest offerings, as the temps were all the way down to the mid 80's. So we bundled up and set off to find a pumpkin.

The kids each picked out a tiny pumpkin, and were so proud of them. They got into the car and held them all the way home. William made up a pumpkin song about them and announced loudly that he was going to keep it "forever and ever." And he probably will. Just like that half eaten lollipop I found in his closet a few months ago left over from last Halloween.

I really shouldn't complain, it's just that it turned out to be a very long weekend with all the sickness and whining (more of that than usual). Last night we were attempting to eat dinner, as William was complaining, Catherine was whining and Stuart was about to implode. I had a small glass of wine that I suspected was very tasty but had not even been able to sniff it much less enjoy a sip. So just like *that*, in the midst of all the chaos, I picked up my glass, walked to the front door and as it was closing behind me heard Andy holler "He-LLOoooooooooo???????" just before it clicked shut. I sat down in the rocker on the front porch, felt the breeze blow through my hair, lifted my glass, took a long whiff, swirled it around, and savored the lovely grapes as I said "mmmmm." And the chaos behind that door became invisible to me for just a few minutes. It was the only 15 minutes I'd had to myself in 3 days, other than the couple of times I'd made it to the bathroom alone.

One day I'll laugh about all this.

Ha. Ha.

Sick in Mayberry

I can't believe what I have to report. Everyone is well and healthy and we had a wonderful weekend outdoors enjoying the nice cool fall weather, attended the arts and crafts fair, took a stroll and had a picnic by the bay. NO WAIT. That was my dream in the good solid hour of sleep I got all weekend. Here's what really happened.

Got a call on Friday from William's school telling me he wasn't feeling well and wanted to come home. Thinking he was just hankering for some attention, since his brother and sister had both been to the Dr. earlier in the week but he hadn't, I nonetheless picked him up early only to discover that he was burning up with fever. Brought him home, put him to bed, and while he was napping talked to the Mom of one of his friends who told me that her son had thrown up once and ran fever for 2 days and she heard that it was going around. Oh no, I said....we've just had ear infections, lung infections and snotty noses. But no throwing up.

Had I only waited another hour or so I could have reported that YES we were throwing up too. William puked up the 3 sips of leftover strawberry milkshake I had dug out of the freezer for him thinking it would help his fever. And then, just as I'd heard he would, he ran fever for 2 days.

So on Sat. night when we were supposed to go visit with our little nephew who was in town, I decided I needed to stay home with the boys and let Catherine go with her Daddy, since she was well. They stayed to watch the football game, but on the way home, thinking he was hearing some kind of waterfall from the backseat, Andy turned around to see Catherine puking everywhere. They made it home at midnight.

SO let's recap this. Fever viruses, lung infections, ear infections, snotty noses, croupy coughs, puke, diarrhea and at least one fever a day for the past 2 weeks.....at least $100 in copays to Dr's and $75 worth of antibiotics....not to mention the double pack of Tylenol we've blown through. In the last week. All because I wanted some MOM'S DAYS OUT????????? Yeah right.

Can it get any worse? I'm afraid to ask. You know I'll let you know.

take a number please

am typing with one hand and using little punctuation as am holding one of my 3 - yes 3 - sick babies. starting to school last month brought us great joy. and new friends. and lots of germs that made everyone sick. some of us twice. like stuart who had a cold...that went into ear infection...and is now a cold again.
and then there's catherine. our child with one good lung and one portion of a very bad lung. she spent all day yesterday at the dr's office, as she ran a very high fever, having x rays and blood drawn only to find out she does not have a lung infection. which is good news. but bad news is they can't explain the rather large dense mass in her right lung (the bad one) so next we get the fun and familiar experience of yet another ct scan. for those not familiar with her condition - she has a ccam (too long to spell out with one hand). she had surgery at 5 months where they removed the upper and middle lobes of her right lung. the left the lower lobe that still had this condition, which now makes her more susceptible to infection. and will likely have to go through another surgery at some point to remove what's left.

i have always said that i was grateful to have been given this condition to deal with rather than something that couldn't be fixed. and i've always felt God has used this to teach us patience, dependence on Him and to grow our faith. but i still haven't learned how to stop my heart from hurting when i can't help my baby who is hurting. but that's nothing any other mother doesn't experience on a daily basis. whether having to hold her while a giant needle is draining blood from her arm or hold her because someone was mean to her. i may be worried about a broken lung today but tomorrow may be a broken heart.

it's just part of the journey.

*many thanks to mimi, gigi and grandpa who helped hold, rock and comfort the past couple of days.